"Stop that, my gramma is watching" Ty pushes Alan away and yells, "Cover your eyes, Gramma!"

And for some reason, I keep thinking of John's character as an Argonian.

I think Justin, My Lord and Pagemaster Forever Amen needs to see how well we all unzip and what not. We should pause for a second.

"Let her. She just might learn something."

profxmas wrote:

I think Justin, My Lord and Pagemaster Forever Amen, My Lord and Pagemaster Forever Amen needs to see how well we all unzip and what not. We should pause for a second.

You should probably get a + modifier for unzipping

I would hope that the sewer dwelling homeless get at least a +2 on that.

Oh god. I don't know what I expected from you, but for the sake of clarity, is unzipping your pants actually your action John? Try not to think about where another critical failure could land you.

Sorry, I was busy...er... watching... documentaries.

You mean midget porn?

And by documentaries you mean porn right? Like, sexy midget space bots or something probably.

profxmas wrote:

You mean midget porn?

Hahahaha

Also yes unzipping is my action. I understand what a critical failure could do but, what about a critical success?

Fancy Feast wrote:

profxmas wrote:

You mean midget porn?

Hahahaha

A man likes what a man likes! Who are you to judge! >_>

Hippopoctopus wrote:

Fancy Feast wrote:

profxmas wrote:

You mean midget porn?

Hahahaha

A man likes what a man likes! Who are you to judge! >_>

I... I was just laughing cuz I said midget porn too... Don't hit me

Turn 2

Alan couldn't help but grin at the hellish music. The band certainly brought back some fond memories of the good old days. He nearly protested the driver turning it off, but had more pressing matters to deal with.
"ANYWAY. I ASSUME YOU NEED MY SERVICES FOR SOMETHING?" he inadvertantly screamed (6) due in part to his eardrums still recovering, and in part to his own awkward social tendencies and disorders.  Shit, now his voice was sore in addition to his ears.
Ty smiled slyly at the boy as he lifted the ominous briefcase he'd been holding onto since he had gotten into the cab. Soon, he knew, the young man wouldn't care what he needed him for, only that he got the contents of this case. With a slick flick of his deft, cybernetically enhanced digits, Lavreil popped the briefcase open (2). The container made an audible hiss as heavy steam escaped and wafted gently to the floor of the cab. Well, that wasn't supposed to happen, but Ty was sure the dramatic effect did nothing but bolster the eagerness of the young hacker. Without glancing into the case, Ty turned it toward Alan, smiling smugly as he expected the holo display to pop up.
"Uhhhh, so, half a tuna sub, a beer with a handknit cozy that says 'best granson ever,' and, er, is that human ear?" Alan offered quite hoarsely as he looked into the contents of what Ty realized too late was the wrong case. Alan felt the last remnants of his voice fade as he spoke, "Did you want me to try to rig a custom deck with these or something? This really isn't my kind of gig...."
Up front, the shady cab driver reached his grimy hand down to clutch his crotch and give it a good clench. God, sometimes these weirder fares really got his capacitors charged. He adjusted his hand as a smile etched its way across his battle-scarred cheeks and his eyes flitted again to the rear-view mirror, noticing that his passengers were into some kinky shit with fog, sandwiches, and... was that a human ear? He fingered the zipper of his pants with a filth-crusted fingernail, and began to ever so slowly zip it down (4), shifting his weight in his seat as he released his hairy, sweaty dataminer. The scent of musty laundry and vinegar erupted from betwixt his legs. He hoped they didn't notice. Or that they did, if they were into this kind of shit...
Meanwhile, the silent countdown to their demise ticked on, even though a holographic display that was only visible to the driver of the cab ticked down in the left of Gerard's peripheral field of vision.

Current Status wrote:

Hearing is back to normal
Countdown to self-destruction is still going
Your party has gained:
1 Tunamelt
1 Beer (cozied)
1 possibly a human ear?

Should have smelled like lavender. Why do you suck so much at rolling dice?

Fancy Feast wrote:

Should have smelled like lavender. Why do you suck so much at rolling dice?

I actually rolled a 4 for John, and played it out that way. I don't know why I wrote "2," but you're right: missed opportunity with the olfactory senses. Although, this is his balls, not his anus, that you guys are about to smell.

I'm gonna speed towards the cupcake place and hope to get there before I jizzaculate. 

Also I'm gonna look around for a napkin or rag in case I do.

Ty will lean forward and ask "For the love of fuck, What's that smell?" (any chance he'll notice the countdown?)

Alan tries to roll down his window.

Turn 3

As the smell of disgusting hobo cyberballs begins to permeate the air within the cab, Ty scrunches up his nose in an almost cute fashion and leans forward to demand something of the cabby (2), but shuts his open mouth as he gets an eyeful of cabby wang, while inadvertently dropping the contents of his lunchbox onto the sticky floor of the vehicle. "Damnit!" he mutters. That ear was probably pretty important, and the beer is most likely completely shook-up now.
Meanwhile, Alan attempts to alleviate the odorous atmosphere by rolling his window down (6), which he does so hard that he accidentally sprains his wrist, while permanently locking the window in the fully-down position.
Unaware of the eyes on his member, Gerard punches the gas (6), heading to his passengers' destination as his free hand searches for a rag, just in case he jizzaculates. His hand happens upon the soft tissue of a human ear which, as he was speeding, got bounced into the front of the vehicle. "That'll do," he groans euphorically as he ejects his veteran's blessings into the disembodied earhole.
He shuts his eyes for a brief moment as he transcends his humanity, only to open them to see Cuppin' Your Cakes directly ahead of him, and entirely too close. He slams his foot on the brake, causing his seatbeltless passengers to be flung forward through the windshield of the hovercab. Ty, with his cybernetic enhancements rolls a couple times (4) only to land standing on his feet, as if that's exactly what he meant to happen, largely unphased, and still lookin' good, as far as he could tell from the reflection in the window of the bakery, at least until Alan (3) went crashing through it with minor cuts and scratches.
"Goddamnit," sighed the owner of the establishment as he looked up to see what caused such a ruckus, "not again."

Gerard let out a sigh of satisfaction from behind the wheel of the cab. Today was a good day so far.

Hippopoctopus wrote:

 "That'll do," he groans euphorically as he ejects his veteran's blessings into the disembodied earhole.

         

Fancy Feast wrote:

Hippopoctopus wrote:

 "That'll do," he groans euphorically as he ejects his veteran's blessings into the disembodied earhole.

         

If we had to choose one quote to describe us as a guild.....

this is where Gerard would demand payment

Alan rolls around on the parking lot screaming for medical attention.

Fancy Feast wrote:

Alan rolls around on the parking lot screaming for medical attention.

He's actually inside the cupcake store. He crashed through the window.